I hate it! I have to have a bestfriend which I do not have. I have to have a person who loves me which also I don't have. I have to be outgoing to survive which what I hate to do. I have to put a big smile even if I never meant it. I laugh out loud with a thought of "Why am I doing this?". And so on.
I used to be a person who was very hard to even say hi! I hated people, and that doesn't mean I love myself. I seldom talked to people because I know the fact that not many wants to talk to me and even now I guess. I am like a ghost. I am always there but people just doesn't seem to see me.
A new start to Saujana Impian, I was continuing my habit of not talking to people and with my blurr face, I annoyed people. I don't care, I'm used to it. After a few month, I started to know some people. I started laughing. I didn't want to do that.
A new person came and she made me realize that bestfriend is needed for every human. I had so much fun that year and I meant it. But in every year there must be a tragedy and last year it happened on Yamapi's birthday and it had been done by the first person I ever like and still.
This year, I have nobody. That 'person' had fade away. She had found her real true friends and I was alone again.